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Zack's Anger Diary: The Stupid Electric Bill



Dear Diary …


When you’re young … you got all these plans about how things are gonna be “different.” A lot of it has to do with your plans for parenting. You say dumb things like …


“Oh yeah … when I’m a parent … I’m in CHARGE! I’m not gonna be one of those parents that prepares like three different dinners a night. The children will do as I SAY!”


Yeah … sure … I remember sayin’ that one too. But then it’s dinner time and you just want these monsters to eat SOMETHING … chicken nuggets … mac and cheese … cat food. Whatever. So you do what you gotta do and that's fine.


One I always remember was … “I’m not gonna be one of those crazy parents that complains about the electricity bill. That’s just ridiculous!”


OK ... but … uhhhh … HAVE YOU SEEN THE FREAKING LIGHT BILL RIGHT NOW???


What in the world is going on with the gas and electric bills? It’s like all of a sudden they got together and decided to raise the cost buy a million percent or something … not tell anybody … and then it’s … “Hey your gas bill is $600 this month. Surprise!”


I’m sorry, but that’s just wrong.


And I’m sure they got some bullpucky story about inflation or supply chain or having to upgrade the flongometers or whatever … but you should not be able to bend people over a barrel for services that they HAVE to pay for.


Like a Lamborghini … I get it. You can charge a ridiculous amount for it because I can … you know … just not buy it … but what am I gonna do instead of lights? Get candles like I’m Ben Franklin?


And here’s the part that always makes me mad …


Bunch of years ago … I forget the exact time … we had this REALLY mild winter. So people used their heat way less than normal. So you remember what the gas company did? They charged everybody like an extra $20 the next month saying, “well we didn’t take in as much money as normal so we need this for like … uhh … maintenance stuff and things.”


But then on the flip side … if it’s wicked cold one month … I don’t see a “hey we made a lotta money last month” rebate. Do you?


So you know what I’m gonna do about it?


[PAUSE]


Nothin.


Cuz there ain’t nothin’ to do. We can whine about it all we want, but … you want heat? Well there you go.


But hey on the bright side … think of all the money we’re saving right now because eggs are so cheap and affordable.


OK … is it too early to start drinking?


Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye



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